Lecturer, opening a seminar: “You’ll have to forgive me if I’m a little slow this morning. I was at a terribly alcoholic dinner last night.”
Doug: “Is there any other kind in Cambridge?”
Lecturer: “What? Oh, right. Well, they brought out two bottles of port after dinner. Ridiculous, really. American students are always rather shocked by how much we drink over here, because of course over there they’re not allowed to drink in public until some ludicrously late age. Which is why, of course, they spend so much time in their fraternity houses.
“Now, this week’s readings …”
Friend to Doug: “I was speaking with one of the fellows at my college. Apparently after senior combination room dinners they sometimes take a few bottles of wine down into the chapel crypt. There’s some tomb of an old fellow where you can slide the cover back and sit around the edge toasting the bones of departed academics.”
Doug: “Hmmm. If you slipped and fell in, do you think it’d be grave desecration?”